7 Ways to Find a Catholic Young Adult Community When You’re New in Town
In the past six years, I have moved too many times to count, never staying in one city for longer than eight months. And every time I move, I must begin the arduous and often discouraging task of finding a Catholic young adult community, making new friends, building another support network.
Maybe you’ve just relocated for a job, or perhaps you’re new to Catholicism and craving a community of like-minded adults. Whatever it is, I know what it’s like to be the new kid at a parish. Based on my experience, below are some ways you can find community, beyond Googling “Catholic young adults in [city]” (because I’m sure you’ve already tried that).
1. Call your Diocese
It can be challenging to find young adult ministry details on parish websites. I suggest contacting your diocese to get information that may not be published online. Many dioceses have an Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry, or something similarly named. If you can’t find it on your diocese website, go to the contact page and get the phone number to your diocese’s office. Once on the phone, someone should be able to connect you with the right person.
2. Become a regular at a parish
Take it from someone who changes parishes every few months: Parish hopping ruins your chances of forming community. Your attendance at each church becomes too irregular to create any true connections.
It’s fine to try out a few parishes in your new city before deciding which one you like. But once you pick a parish, stick with it. Attend mass there every Sunday and attend daily mass there too. Introduce yourself to the priest and parishioners after mass. You’ll become a familiar face, and you’ll see the same people multiple times, allowing you to feel more connected.
3. Attend social events
Getting to know people before and after mass isn’t always easy. Many people don’t linger after, so you might not have much opportunity to make friends.
Instead, attend social events aimed at Catholic young adults. Your city probably has these. They’re typically Theology On Taps, Catholic Undergrounds, or simply dinners at restaurants. Going to these types of events makes it much more likely that you’ll get to have real conversations with people in a similar life stage as you.
4. Let people know you’re new
Something remarkable happens when you tell people you’re new in town: They immediately light up and want to show you everything they love about where they live. It works similarly for Catholic communities. It’s likely someone will take you under their wing and will want to introduce you to people.
So don’t be afraid to let people know you’re new. Again, maybe you’re not even new to town, but you’re new to Catholicism, or you’re new to that parish. Let people know that. It signals to them that you might need some extra help getting settled in.
5. Sign up to lead something
It might seem like a paradox, but the point at which you’re feeling the most disconnected and least prepared is the point at which you probably need to step up to leadership. Leadership has this mysterious way of forcing effort out of you, inspiring you to be better, and holding you accountable—after all, it’s not just about you anymore. Others are relying on you now. You can’t just not show up to a Bible study if you’re the one leading it.
By signing up to facilitate a faith group or head a volunteer project, you’ll also get to meet more fellow Catholics while working toward a common goal. It’s a sure-fire recipe for forming a community.
6. No matter what, keep showing up
Craving community and being unable to find it can be incredibly discouraging. But I urge you to keep showing up, no matter how hopeless you may feel. Remember, community takes time and repeated interactions. It’s not going to happen overnight or even over the course of a month.
I have a friend who was a missionary years ago. During her ministry, she encountered intense desolation, but despite it all, she was an excellent missionary, drawing record numbers to her small groups and changing so many lives.
I’ll never forget what she told me was the secret to her success: “So much of love is just showing up.” So even when she didn’t feel like it, she still got up at 7 a.m. for her Holy Hour. Even when she was wracked with anxiety and self-doubt, she still nurtured relationships with the women in her Bible studies.
You’re looking for your people, right? The more times you show up, the more opportunities you’ll have to find them. And believe me, they’re looking for you too. Just keep showing up.
7. Still can’t find a young adult community? Start one
Perhaps this piece of advice is uncomfortable for you. But if you’re frustrated with people not stepping up to build a Catholic young adult community in your area—why not be the person who does?
So often we wait around wondering why nothing’s happening when God has called us to make it happen. Do you wish there was a young adult women’s group in your parish? Start one. Do you think a young adult retreat would benefit a lot of people in your diocese? Organize one.
Just because you want to initiate a young adult ministry doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Ask for the support you need from friends, fellow parishioners, your pastor, or your diocese.
Need extra help? Contact CYA Ministry. They’re professionals experienced in starting and building thriving young adult ministries and can help you identify goals and the best model to form the community you crave.